Why do we Self-Sabotage
The other day, I was inspired to write because I was having a self-sabotage moment of my own. I woke up feeling very unworthy, feeling like "who am I to be doing this?", Am I good enough, I am dramatic, extra, and just a hot mess. I ended up completely spiraling out of control and into a deep mental breakdown crying until 2:00 am. I woke up the next day really dealing with a lot of the back lash from the night before. I really just wanted to call out of work, and log out of social media, and burry my face in my pillow all day. I knew that doing that would only get me to dig deeper down the rabbit hole I had already gotten myself into.
I really felt that it was super important on how I acted that day. So I decided to pull on some clothes and get my ass to work. I chose to listen to a motivational podcast on my way to work even though I really wasn't feeling it because I knew I needed it. I put my face on social media stepped out of my comfort zone and told my situation. I wanted to let other women know that it is okay to have those moments and days. That its only temporary, and you CAN come out on the other side. I said to myself some powerful positive affirmations before walking into work, and faced my emotions head on.
I decided to keep going, not to be easily distracted and lazy. I journaled and decided to even go above and beyond what my typical day is. By the end of the day, I was feeling a WHOLE LOT BETTER. I ended my night with some serious self-care. Dipping in my hot tub and putting on a nice face mask and take a nice long shower. I woke up today back to normal and ready to rumble.
My moral of the story is, keep going. Push yourself to do what you need to get done, and force yourself to do what's best for you, not what seems convenient. I promise it will pay off. Try to catch it before the out of control mental breakdown.
SIGNS OF SELF-SABOTAGING BEHAVIOR
You listen to you inner critic.
"Your aren't good enough", Everyone thinks you are an idiot.", "Its not going to work for you." We all have those inner nasty thoughts, however its up to us on whether we choose to listen to what it has to say or not. Listen to the kind words we tell ourselves, and when your inner critic starts back at its shit, tell Karen "that's not true."
Avoid anything that runs the risk of pain.
When we have been heartbroken and burned a few times in our life, we tend to avoid any situation that could potentially leave us open to feeling pain again. However, the real truth is that everything that is worth having in life means we have to step out of our comfort zones and and face our fear of having that pain.
You cant say no.
People-pleasing is one of the BIGGEST forms of self-sabotage. You might think, well everyone wants the nice guy... your wrong. You don't want the nice guy. This is because you are always telling people yes no matter what. You struggle to stand up for yourself and yes NO. Boundaries are so we can protect ourselves. to make sure that our energy are secured and that our worthy is known. Without boundaries you leave yourself wide open to be walked on like a doormat.
You suffer low self-esteem.
When we don't believe ourselves to be worthy and all the good shit, then we are setting ourselves up for failure. You are afraid to let yourself down, so you feel its better to have no expectations then ones that wont be met. Can I just say... that's a LIEEE! It is so important to create and set expectations. This ensures we have good self-esteem and that our worth is being kept and understood. if somebody or something cannot meet the expectations you have set. Don't take it personal and get all upset, its not anything purposely meant to offend you. Some people and things are simply unable to meet the expectations you have set, and that is 110% okay.
HOW CAN I BREAK FREE FROM SELF-SABOTAGE?
Looking into your past, Become aware of your stringers, insecurities, and fears. pinpoint where these behaviors started and came from and what role it served, and practice new habits. Self Compassion and forgive yourself and move forward. Them, you will simply become the best versions of yourself. Which leads me to my next thing...
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