Steps to Confidence Building
Do you struggle with your Confidence? I've been there.
You want to wear the super hot bikini you seen on Amazon and you sighed as you selected your size, and added it to the cart. Only for it to sit there for another 2 months and finally you moved it to your saved for later, where it sat there forever collecting dust because you are afraid of what other people would think about you wearing it.
You've had this friend for like 6 years and lately she's been really acting like a bitch. There's been many situations lately, she's been blowing you off. Talking shit behind your back, and just being a horrible friend. You talk to yourself in the car about what you want to say to her. Call her out, tell her you think she's a bunch of bullshit and you deserve a good friend. Yet, you keep quiet. Afraid of standing up for yourself, and really showing her how you really feel. You instead just smile and act like it's all fine.
Can I just say, I KNOWWWWW!
I give these detailed examples, because that has been me before. I've been there.
However your majorly hurting yourself but allowing these thoughts inside your head to consume you. Your self-sabotage Karen voice is hindering your self confidence, and enough is enough.
I've written down 5 steps to help you build up your confidence, and to step out of the scared and afraid and enter the confident badass bitch I know is within you.
Spend alone quality time with yourself- Believe it or not, spending time by yourself actually boosts your confidence, and makes you feel so much better. I know what you're thinking, "you're saying go sit at a restaurant all by myself?" yes, yes I am. I've have sat down multiple times alone at breakfast, IHOP, local diners, etc. There is a sense of peace and happiness going alone. Appreciating your own company, nobody talking, nobody trying to persuade you on which thing to get on the menu, nobody rushing you or anybody you have to wait on. Just you. This can be done not just at a restaurant. You can go shopping alone, take a walk at the park alone, just sit in the car in your driveway and listen to music for 30 minutes alone. Whatever works for you. Learn to enjoy your own company.
Implement a new daily routine- I know, you already thought I was crazy for telling you spend time alone, and now I am telling you to ditch your old daily routine you've been doing for a year and try something new? YES! a thousand times yes. Break it up, and try new things. Listen to a women empowerment podcast on your way to work instead of the radio station. (I have a women's empowerment podcast called, Fueled by Confidence podcast that you can listen to on apple podcast and Spotify.The Link is on my website and the link in my bio's on social media.) Anyways, Stop for a coffee and treat yourself. If you are super tired when you come home from work why do laundry at 8pm. Switch it up, obviously make it work for you, but changing your daily routine will give you a sense of happiness and confidence you didn't know it could.
Write about your biggest dreams- Go buy a notebook from Walmart, or your local super market. Set aside a time to complete focus and think about your dreams. As a kid what did you always want to do? As a teenager what's something you dreamt about? Now as an adult what do you dream about? Traveling, getting married, having kids, buying that car, buying a house, graduating college with a degree, heaven, Disney world, etc. Whatever it is, write it all down or create a vision board. Yes, like magazine and newspapers and cut and paste on to a poster. I am not judging... Whatever resonates with you best. Think about what your life would look like if your dreams came true. Maybe some of your dreams when you were younger did come true.
Unfollow, mute, be-friend anyone on social media or in real life that make you doubt yourself- Let me say, I have done this, and out of the 5 steps, it was the most powerful one for me. I cut off friends that were negative in my life. People on social media that were negative, I recreated my entire Instagram because I didn't like the "everything has to be perfect" atmosphere that was all over my insta with influencers I became friends with and everything. I cut off a 8 year long best friend since I was in middle school because she was very negative, and wasn't good for me. This gave me SOO much confidence its insane. That I followed through and actually did it, took balls! muting the negative energy was transformational. By far if you don't listen to any of my other steps, do this one!
Take a deep breath, and rip off the bandaid- Okay, now this one you can call me just flat out crazy. This one takes more balls than a Wooly Mammoth has. So grow some real fast. Just start putting yourself out there, as scared as you are about other people's opinions of you. Just press order. Order the bikini, shoes, Dress, etc. Just wear it even if you are scared out of your ever loving mind. Just call that person that has been treating you like shit, and mute them so you can only hear yourself, and just let it rip. The dude at the bar you've been eying up. FUCK IT! Girl walk over there with sweaty palms and shaky legs and get his number. I don't care if you have to fake out a story to get it. Just do the damn thing. This will give you a fire burning confidence you have never felt before. It will give you confidence to do it again and again.
I promise I wouldn't have given you these steps if I Haven't done them myself. I am living proof this shit works. I know how scary It can be, but I also know how good and rewarding it feels.
If you are liked my blog and really interested in diving even deeper to make a change and step into that highest version of yourself, click the button below and set up a FREE coaching session with me. I would love to connect and hear from you.