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Mind vs Heart

I don't know how many times I have come across this battle within myself. Where I am fighting with what my mind says versus what my heart says. I have gone through this scenario probably over a dozen times.

Mind vs heart is something I know you struggle with to at times. We often battle what we feel is right and what our heads are telling us. Many times we think of our mind as the side that is telling you what you need to do vs want to do. When actually that isn't the case at all. We often go through this battle with things like a relationship, family, a job, a career opportunity, buying a new house, getting another dog, buying Starbucks, etc.

I had this inner voice speaking inside of me telling me one thing while my heart was tugging at another.

The real only difference between the two is that our heart is attached with our emotions where as our head is more rational thinking.

I am sure you have heard the phrase, "Follow your heart" and it has good reason. Most of the time our heart actually has really good intuition that yields the highest outcome possible. However, sometimes following what your heart wants has probably gotten you in trouble. For instance, you might have felt guided and desired to stop for coffee in the morning on your way to work, but afterwards you might have felt bad or Quilty because now you are running late for work, or maybe you really didn't have the extra money you just spent. Maybe you had butterflies around a new person you were dating and your heart said he is going to be a great guy, yet it turned out to be a very bad experience. We ask ourselves all the time, WHY?

Our mind can very easily confuse an emotional pull for a hearts intuition. and 9 times out of 10 we are misconstrued and we follow what we thought was our heart. This usually takes a pattern to happen over and over to start realizing the difference.

We sometimes think we are following our heart, when in reality we are just following our desire. For instance, yesterday my blog was about burnout. We get so burnt out we are very tired and think we come to the conclusion to leave the boyfriend or the job or the situation out of impulse, when actually it wasn't our heart at all, it was just a desire.

I myself have fallen into this trap. Just recently I had to catch myself and realize the feeling I was having was really a mix of desire and my heart. I had to separate the two to then see more clearly how I truly felt.

Here is a broken down example of the difference between our heart and mind...


Mind- How long is it going to take to drive home?! Damn, I am so over all this traffic, constantly tapping their breaks and this is annoying. Stupid car in front of me isn't even driving the speed limit. When are they going to ever widen this road. I pay taxes, yet here I am still stuck in traffic. You decide to cut her off and flick your middle finger at them.

Heart- This traffic is horrendous today. Its clearly going to move and open up when it feels like it. No use in getting upset, I can't control it anyway. You turn the music on and listen to you favorite genre to cope.

My situation recently has been with my job. Battling how I think I feel vs how I really feel, and what rational decisions I could make. Weighing out the pros and cons, sleeping on it and re visiting this idea in my head for the course of 2 weeks.

Here are some steps to help you navigate your thoughts vs feelings...

Step 1: Shift your attention to your heart. Take a deep breath and breath slowly. Close your eyes and listen to yourself.

Step 2: Start thinking of somebody or something you really genuinely appreciate

Step 3: Marinate these feelings you are having, give yourself 5-10 minutes to really feel this in a calm manner.

You will start to notice your mind is going to wander, try to refocus yourself and attention back to the practice of taking deep breaths with your eyes closed and reconnect with your feelings. You will start to realize that this is affecting you. The longer you give yourself, your heart will try to let you know other things sometimes in the moment. This is how you will know how you really feel.

Once you've done this, and you were to figure out the difference between how you feel and what your head desires, you will be able to think more clearly. Maybe make a pros and cons list of which side you follow. Or maybe after doing this activity you've already made up your mind.

This game is a tricky one, and often can be mistaken for the wrong things.

Remember no matter which side you end up choosing, there is no wrong answer. Only the side you chose.

You are stronger than you realize

You already know your answer, I hope this gave your clarity.

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Amber Brock

Self-Development Coach for all Women. 

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